To Crush a Crush

A crush is like having the flu. You don't really know when or where you picked it up, how long it will last, and there's no sure fire way to make it go away.

Originally my crush on Mr. Kitty had faded away due to lack of interaction. That changed two weeks ago when I attended a friend's holiday party. I knew Mr. Kitty was going to be at the party because he made a point of letting me know via text. This wasn't the motivation for attending, most of my friends were going so it was mandatory fun time. About an hour or so in I was heading out of the party for a short break while passing Mr. Kitty on the steps. As I had my focus on getting outside, I said a quick hello and kept on my way. He then text to ask if I was coming back.

Eventually I made my way back into the party, wet from rain and my glasses a streaky mess. Mr. Kitty and I ended up chatting most of the evening, from the living room to the bedroom. When I was finally ready to leave and hit the bar with my friends I said a quick goodbye. Much to my surprise, Mr. Kitty stole a kiss. It was odd because to be honest I have really not been getting a vibe that there was any interest on his part. It was also shocking because I'm not a public affection person - scratch that, I am a no affection of any type person.

This of course kicked my brain into 'think mode.' Meaning, I get girl brain and begin asking myself what everything meant and of course the worst thing happened... my crush returned full force. Over the next two weeks Mr. Kitty would pretty much vanish until last weekend when I was intoxicated and sent a message and then yesterday when out of the blue he asked if I was going away for Christmas. Questions that seem to show interest, but I can decipher if it's that or just general boredom on his part. So of course I provided what I thought to be clever answers that did not encourage the continuation of the conversation.

This is part of my person crush detox. I hate the feeling of a crush, it's annoying and similar to the feeling of a rash. So, my process is to personally not engage, nor set up conversations like the above mentioned in a way where the other person can easily engage. Second, I talk to my friends that are in relationships and ask them to tell me all of the miserable details. Ray Ray shared that she and her boyfriend never have sex, never go out, sit in front of the television and basically do nothing but rot away. It's soothing to know.

Like I said, there's no sure fire way to get rid of a crush, but the mind games I play with myself seem to be doing the trick.

A Little to the Left

It's not often that I'm shocked by others. Now and then I do the shocking by the words the drop from my mouth. Two weeks ago, on what seemed like a regular Friday outing, the tables were turned.

While out I was told of this new bar, Hardware, on Tenth. A place you could easily walk by without noticing, but surprisingly nice inside. Our group meandered over to the bar where I found myself a chair and settled in. As we drank and chatted a guy stepped over and struck up a conversation. Though my friends say he was unattractive, I have to disagree, the nerdy look is appealing. Not a fan of the hipster flannel but that's easy enough to fix.

The conversation was good until my friends were ready to go. I generally try to not ditch my friends for a hook up, so I said my good bye, shared my number and headed out the door. After a short bar crawl I returned home, during this time continuing the conversation with bar guy via text. It may have been the beer in me, or a touch of slutism, but I invited bar guy over. Honestly, asking someone to travel from HK to the UES seems frivolous as the distance at that time of night is enough to make anyone say no.

To my surprise the guy jumped in a cab and showed up at my doorstep. I told him to make himself comfortable as I grabbed a beer from the fridge. I returned just as he was hanging up his coat. That was when it happened...how did I not notice this in the bar? Standing before me was a person missing his left arm. My face likely gave away the shock I was trying to suppress, but holy crap - he's missing an arm! I lasted about ten minutes before I asked if he was born without an arm, or if it had been torn off in some terrible accident. Sadly, Lefty, was born without an arm so there's no great story there. But he is a good sport as I was feeling pretty funny and asked him if he was left handed. If something like that doesn't make you walk out and i can get a laugh we're doing pretty well.

I'm still talking to Lefty and may hang out with him again, but I don't think I'd dare bring him out with my friends. I'm pretty cruel, but they'd eat him alive.