Mommy Dearest

This month has seen a lack of postings on my part. I feel that in order to not become repetitive I shouldn’t waste anyone’s energy when the antics are more or less the “same old thing”. Fortune has turned and I have a twist to increase the interest in my nightlife misadventures.

My birthday arrived last week and with it came my mother. She flew in from that place where I was once from and prefer not to name. What’s in a name? Too many connotations that I don’t want to be associated with. Anyway, I made it my mission to ensure that she fell in love with New York. I’ve been obsessed with this city since I was three years old and saw and ‘I heart NY’ keychain for the first time.

I planned a little party at one of my favorite bars, inviting a few friends. Now, I’ve never actually been drunk in front of mother, let alone drunk and christmasy in front of her. What’s christmas?  Read between the lines, it’s not that complicated… this is where B. Brown would smile. We hid in the back corner of View Bar, my friends coming and going, me running to the bathroom every few minutes. I love beer, but I have the bladder of a twelve-year-old girl. Not that twelve-year-old girls should be drinking, but I’m sure some are up in Queens. 

My mom went outside to smoke, making new friends on the street. Bored with a certain someone’s incessant talking, I went to join her. We met two ghetto-looking people sitting on a stoop. Now, with me you have to be blunt, so when the guy from the stoop asked me if I liked to party, I was confused. I was like, yeah, I like to party. I was assuming he meant like dancing on bars and throwing up in public restrooms. Turns out he meant something a little bit different. So, I officially have a “source” in my phonebook in case anyone is in need.

The night ended with myself plastered, and my mother not far behind. You see, she lives in a state that has strict alcohol laws and our beer is just a bit stronger. I’m a pint guy, but it was kicking her butt. Oh, I failed to mention that I had to keep her from knocking that obnoxious person’s (the one I mentioned earlier) teeth out. If you refer back to the crazy behavior that I was engaging in at the end of last year, this is where I get it. Everything has a source… dun, dun dun!

The three days we spent together were fun to say the least. I think this is the first time the two of us have been together in a way that was outside the parent/child relationship. I highly recommend that everyone sit down and get drunk with their mother. If for no other reason than to show them the person you really are. Most of us run around playing our parts, but when alcohol is introduced, there is no hiding. 

I can officially report that my mom loved New York.