It takes twenty-eight days to form or break a habit. The same concept can be applied to making or removing a friend. Now that Shew and I have surpassed this point, there's an unbalanced circle of friends. The termination of our friendship was made permanent last week when we ran into each other for the first time in weeks. Shew asked if we were good, I confirmed, "No." He then asked if I was angry, again I confirmed, "No." Finally, he asked what all this meant. I confirmed, "I prefer to not interact."
Alas, I have been hunting for a new person to fill the void. The importance of finding an additional friend is two fold. First of all, most of my friends have moved to Astoria, which is fine except for the fact that it's painful to just hangout on the fly. Second, when I hang out with my friends, such as this past Friday, and they bring along a friend we end up in a third wheel situation.
Florida, is the main candidate up for a friend role. We've been chatting for a while and hanging out a bit, but last night was the test of 'how do you function in a bar'. When Business and I go out playing judgement is our sport. If we're at Therapy we look down over the stairs and laugh at the crazy people that walk up, and fall down, the staircase. Anyone who is too nice will either be offended or get high and mighty when it comes to playing judgement. Florida was a little passive in comparison to me when playing, but he was able to hold his own.
So far the thing not working in Florida's favor is he isn't a big drinker. I like to think that my Irish blood allows me to drink until that warm sensation feels you up but isn't running down your leg. It's almost like the sensation people feel when they love someone. He had one beer to my three and looked like he was getting a buzz, this could potentially lead to alcohol poisoning if he were out with myself, the Animator and Business. We can't have that.
Another point in Florida's favor is that he has a boyfriend. However, the boyfriend lives in DC and they have the open relationship thing. By mistake I found out just how open when we were back at my apartment and clothing started falling off. If this encounter had been part of a movie, it would have only been shown on the spoof reel. Talk about the clumsiest sex of your life.
Florida is originally from Venezuela so his junk is a tad larger that a normal human beings. So when he wanted to be mister top, that was definitely not happening. I wasn't that drunk, and I'm not that flexible. The terror generated just from me thinking about him attempting to get that thing near me was enough to deflate and send me running. Being that it was four in the morning, it was best to just finish him off. Like a gift from Gawd, when a guy is done he passes out - has to be by design.
This morning when I sent him home and returned from grabbing coffee I realized my apartment smelled something like a Mexican brothel. The coconut scented/flavored lubricant and the lingering disappointment couldn't escape out the window fast enough. However, this passes another hurdle because there will be no sexual tension as I've already seen everything Florida's got.
Will he end up an actual friend, who knows. I would be interested to subject Florida to Business and the Animator to get their thoughts on the matter. Until then I'll keep hunting.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Laying Down the Law
Now that the storm has passed and we're all trapped in our apartments, there's not much that can be done for entertainment. So, it seemed worth while to go on a date. Lawyer is still staying with his ex girlfriend down the street and has many questions to answer for me.
Let's skip over the crowds, difficulty in locating a bar and right to the dirt. Lawyer is a Jew. I swear to Jesus that I have become a Jew magnet. He doesn't have the regular look of a Jew - the nose, hair, or even an "oy" here and there. That was the first surprise. Then as we began talking and he mentioned he easily gets anxious, etc. I saw the red Jew flag go up, up, up. Not that there's anything wrong with being a Jew, they just have a tendency to piss me off faster than the Christians and Muslims.
We chatted and I picked at the ex scab. It was imperative that I know how it worked with her having lady bits and him liking who-dilly. Here's what I uncovered: After eleven years of dating neither of them had a clue he was gay until the last year of the relationship when he started noticing guys. If this is true then there's a case to be made for the idea that someone can be turned gay. Maybe she gave terrible head and sent him running for the nearest penis...just sayin'. He came out to his mother and sister first, they were understanding - boring. When he came out to his girlfriend she was upset and concerned that he had hidden it to not hurt her. Either she's the most understanding person on Earth, or that story has been altered to suit the needs of an audience. What I believe happened is this: Girlfriend had a meltdown, probably threatened to kill herself or something exciting like that and then he said they would remain friends. In her mind they're likely still together and she's waiting for this phase to pass. In his mind, he's doing something nice to not damage the girl more, but in reality they're both going to get crushed.
As un-exciting as this was, I let Lawyer come home with me. Alright, he's a new gay so he's a little extra cuddly. I'm not a great cuddler, so it was like my going "meh" and pushing him away as he nudged closer. The fooling around was a bit unusual. I assumed he would be a bottom because he was "straight." As of now I'm still not sure if he's a top or bottom because he kept putting one leg over me as if trying to climb on, but hanging off of the side of me in a way that forced me to hold on or let him fall off the bed - it's not a friggin' carnival ride. Being a new gay he was very excited to see another penis, like so overly excited that you want smack him with a wooden spoon and say, "that's a bad kitty, my pot pie kitty."
Lawyer never finished, but I felt I had to or it was never going to end. Once all was over and I was ushering him towards the door it was the first time I got to tell a guy to go home to his girlfriend. It was like a sick fairytale ending for me.
Let's skip over the crowds, difficulty in locating a bar and right to the dirt. Lawyer is a Jew. I swear to Jesus that I have become a Jew magnet. He doesn't have the regular look of a Jew - the nose, hair, or even an "oy" here and there. That was the first surprise. Then as we began talking and he mentioned he easily gets anxious, etc. I saw the red Jew flag go up, up, up. Not that there's anything wrong with being a Jew, they just have a tendency to piss me off faster than the Christians and Muslims.
We chatted and I picked at the ex scab. It was imperative that I know how it worked with her having lady bits and him liking who-dilly. Here's what I uncovered: After eleven years of dating neither of them had a clue he was gay until the last year of the relationship when he started noticing guys. If this is true then there's a case to be made for the idea that someone can be turned gay. Maybe she gave terrible head and sent him running for the nearest penis...just sayin'. He came out to his mother and sister first, they were understanding - boring. When he came out to his girlfriend she was upset and concerned that he had hidden it to not hurt her. Either she's the most understanding person on Earth, or that story has been altered to suit the needs of an audience. What I believe happened is this: Girlfriend had a meltdown, probably threatened to kill herself or something exciting like that and then he said they would remain friends. In her mind they're likely still together and she's waiting for this phase to pass. In his mind, he's doing something nice to not damage the girl more, but in reality they're both going to get crushed.
As un-exciting as this was, I let Lawyer come home with me. Alright, he's a new gay so he's a little extra cuddly. I'm not a great cuddler, so it was like my going "meh" and pushing him away as he nudged closer. The fooling around was a bit unusual. I assumed he would be a bottom because he was "straight." As of now I'm still not sure if he's a top or bottom because he kept putting one leg over me as if trying to climb on, but hanging off of the side of me in a way that forced me to hold on or let him fall off the bed - it's not a friggin' carnival ride. Being a new gay he was very excited to see another penis, like so overly excited that you want smack him with a wooden spoon and say, "that's a bad kitty, my pot pie kitty."
Lawyer never finished, but I felt I had to or it was never going to end. Once all was over and I was ushering him towards the door it was the first time I got to tell a guy to go home to his girlfriend. It was like a sick fairytale ending for me.
Friday, November 2, 2012
20 Minutes
For a while I've been chatting on the Grindr with the Lawyer. Seemingly normal guy, glasses, tall.
We chatted a few months back and I had forgotten him when he messaged me out of the blue. The hurricane threw off plans to meet up as he lives in one of the areas enjoying no power. Lawyer ended up staying near my place on the East Side and suggested we grab a fast drink before dinner. He was eating literally across the street so I had no excuse to not walk downstairs.
The interesting twist with this guy is that he's 32 and came out of the closet six months ago. Up to that point he was in an eleven year relationship with a woman, whose couch he's currently a refugee on and the person he was having dinner with across the street. So as I walked into Elio's, the ex girlfriend and her sister gave polite smiles and I contemplated running out the door. Lawyer headed me off at the entry and suggested we walk next door to Beet for a quick drink. This required me to pound his glass of wine so we could leave.
Next door was out of control as all the downtowners have invaded Uptown, as we have all of the electricity and food. You can't blame them for coming, but I swear to gawd they clog the sidewalks and walk slower than Jesus climbing down from the cross. Anyway, we were having a drink when we were finally able to sit at the bar, and I couldn't help but play 20-how-did-you-not-know-you-were-gay questions.
Not that Lawyer is a flammer, but he's clearly gay, and to think that he spent 32 years as a straight guy intrigues me. I mean, did he sleep with his girlfriend, did he enjoy it, was there a lot of booty play, did she enjoy it? Endless questions! However, as he's such a new gay he's about to go through the phase where he wants to bang every two bit hooker he meets online or in a bar, everyone does.
I'm sure there will be more to report, but in the twenty minutes we spent together before he had to head back to dinner I was left with all of these questions and I must get the answers.
We chatted a few months back and I had forgotten him when he messaged me out of the blue. The hurricane threw off plans to meet up as he lives in one of the areas enjoying no power. Lawyer ended up staying near my place on the East Side and suggested we grab a fast drink before dinner. He was eating literally across the street so I had no excuse to not walk downstairs.
The interesting twist with this guy is that he's 32 and came out of the closet six months ago. Up to that point he was in an eleven year relationship with a woman, whose couch he's currently a refugee on and the person he was having dinner with across the street. So as I walked into Elio's, the ex girlfriend and her sister gave polite smiles and I contemplated running out the door. Lawyer headed me off at the entry and suggested we walk next door to Beet for a quick drink. This required me to pound his glass of wine so we could leave.
Next door was out of control as all the downtowners have invaded Uptown, as we have all of the electricity and food. You can't blame them for coming, but I swear to gawd they clog the sidewalks and walk slower than Jesus climbing down from the cross. Anyway, we were having a drink when we were finally able to sit at the bar, and I couldn't help but play 20-how-did-you-not-know-you-were-gay questions.
Not that Lawyer is a flammer, but he's clearly gay, and to think that he spent 32 years as a straight guy intrigues me. I mean, did he sleep with his girlfriend, did he enjoy it, was there a lot of booty play, did she enjoy it? Endless questions! However, as he's such a new gay he's about to go through the phase where he wants to bang every two bit hooker he meets online or in a bar, everyone does.
I'm sure there will be more to report, but in the twenty minutes we spent together before he had to head back to dinner I was left with all of these questions and I must get the answers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)