Monday, March 2, 2009

Maximizing the Satisfiers


I mentioned that there are two types of people when it comes to relationships. Wanted people are not lovable, but always desired. Loved people are… just that.
Let’s take the next step. There are two subcategory types of people. We have satisfiers and maximizers. Satisfiers are people that go for immediate gratification; these people usually fall into the wanted category. Maximizers are rational people that find satisfaction in choices that take time to make. The level of satisfaction is typically less than that felt by satisfiers, but results in a longer lasting satisfaction. It’s no surprise that maximizers are also the people that are loved.
Is anyone surprised when I say that I’m a satisfier?  I have no savings because it takes a lot of money to continuously satisfy myself. Maximizers fill the satisfaction void with love. I fill the satisfaction void with shiny bobbles. Just one more thing that adds to my shallow puddle of being, but I’m happier than you’d imagine.
Not all satisfiers fill their void with Hilton sized shopping sprees. Some fill the void with depression, drugs, alcohol, hate, and other people. Not to contradict myself, the people are not loved that they’re filling the void with. Wanted people are used to fill the void that some satisfiers have. Example: At my part-time job an Asian man has been stopping in with obnoxious frequency over the past three weeks. I’m unable to recall his name, but he knows mine.
With each visit of The Asian, there is a little more aggression in his approach. On his last trip into the store he mentioned that we should grab a drink. I laughed politely and told him that I worked too late to go out after. He then suggested that we meet up sometime. I reached for a little white lie and told him that I had a boyfriend. To no surprise he wasn’t concerned. Well know this, my imaginary boyfriend is big, bulky, and overprotective of my skinny white behind. He’ll f you up!
Luckily, there were other customers in the store at the time. The Asian tends to get scared off whenever he can’t get me alone, which feels very pedophile like. I don’t want to be rude, but if I have to tell The Asian I’m never going to slob on his knob, I will. The unfortunate thing about satisfiers is that when they want something, they don’t stop wanting it until they’ve had it. I want every shirt until I buy it, The Asian wants every boy until he gets them. At least that’s what I’m guessing.
I may have to go into the booty protection program. I’ll re-dye my spot, change my cloths, and wear a stick on mustache. If nothing else, I’ll be about as attractive as a lesbian at a mud wrestling party. Then again, he may be kinky like that.

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