Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Just One Thing


How many questions equal too many? Is it a necessity to answer the who, when, what and why all the time?
The Italian is a great guy. He’s sweet in the opening a door for you kind of way. He’ll pick up the check every time. He’ll let me talk endlessly for an hour and then tell me that he likes listening to me talk. There’s just one thing that drives me nuts. The Italian asks so many questions.
I felt like we were moving into the fast relationship lane, the one place I told him I didn’t want to be. I’ve only been single a month. I want a boyfriend but I know better than to let someone rush me. It seems that I bounce back and forth between the guys that move too fast and the guys that move too slow, OYE! Luckily with me working between New York and Baltimore I’m not around enough to let him get too attached.
Scratch that. Even though we’ve only seen each other once in the past ten days, The Italian is all about us. That wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t being put on the short leash. Where are you? What are you doing? What’s wrong? How are you feeling? Are you okay? Who are you with? What are you guys doing? Are you home yet? Are you home or at the gym? Are you at work still? Oh my sweet lord! Is it too much to ask that I go through one single day without being asked for a play-by-play of what I’m doing?
I know, I know, I’m being crazy. I’m pushing him away because I’m stuck in the same old routine that I’ve always been in. That’s true, but I can’t date someone that drives me nuts. I need a happy medium. I don’t want someone so sweet and attentive, yet I don’t want to date another asshole. I’m looking for a happy middle ground, I know there’s someone like that somewhere in New York.
I had to cut The Italian loose. I feel bad for breaking it off so soon, but it was the nice thing to do. If I feel this way at the beginning, I know that I won’t change. I think it would be a Devil thing to do, stringing him along for months before letting him go. I’d rather hurt him a little now rather than hurt him a lot later. I actually would like him to transition into one of my friends. I don’t know if that’s even an option at this point.
On the up side, we’re both a little better off for having met. I think right now the smartest thing is for me to do the alone thing. I’m just barely getting my personal affairs back in line, maybe it isn’t the time to try and add that part of the equation in.

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