Saturday, September 27, 2008

A Rose Isn't Always Just A Rose

Did anyone have a bet placed on how long The Devil would last? Well, mark your calendars, we’ve lasted an entire week. That’s not to say I haven’t been surprised by what I’m faced with.
For the most part we have a routine, wasn’t that fast? He calls me late in the evening and I walk the eleven blocks to his apartment. We talk for about twenty seconds, lights go off, pants come down. I have to add as a side-note that never before have I had sex with one person for seven consecutive days. I’ve had serious relationships and not had sex more than two days in a row. I usually get bored or hit with a sudden headache that prevents us from doing anything. I do think I’m getting the “feelings” for this one, but there’s a catch. Like a great deal on a new car, I’ve come to find out there’s some water damage.
The Devil was burned by his boyfriend of two years when he cheated on him. In order to prevent such a thing from happening again, The Devil, has set up dating rules. They are simple, straightforward and confusing. He won’t get serious with someone without dating for three months. This rule I think of as good common sense, plus it helps to eradicate the feeling of being rushed. The second rule is not so simple. Having had his ex cheat on him, The Devil, believes that having an open relationship will prevent this from happening with future boyfriends. If you haven’t heard of an open relationship, it means you can have sex with other people, but you still come home to each other.
He mentioned this to me as we were going to sleep, not allowing me to react before he rolled over. I lay there feeling blindsided. When I had arrived at his place earlier I had been told to close my eyes. When I opened them The Devil stood in front of me holding a rose. The last time a guy gave me flowers I dumped his ass. I was astonished when chunks didn’t begin to rise in my throat. I actually smiled and accepted the yellow flower unaware of the twist the evening was going to take.
I’m confused more than usual because I like this boy. I don’t know if I would be able to live with rule #2. I like the idea of having that freedom, but am I comfortable knowing my boyfriend is out having sex with other guys? What if he forgets to use a condom and brings home a disease? What if he finds some guy he likes better? To complicate the matter more, we went out with The Devil’s roomie and he said something. He said he loves me. It terrified me. It terrified me because I believe it and I said it back. I haven’t been able to get those words out of my mouth in three years.
Now I’m caught in the middle of my own confusion. On one hand I have this seemingly perfect guy and on the other I have all these questions. I’m not sure if I should call it quits before I get in too deep, or for once in my life just go with the flow.

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