Monday, July 9, 2012

Fairy Go Round

Now and again I get a wild hair and want to try one of the normal things that other people do - dating! A simple thing like getting coffee and having a conversation, what can possibly go wrong?

I met a boy, whose name I must temporarily withhold out of fear it will ruin the story, for coffee one scorching summer afternoon. Now, if you're a gay you know this, and if you're anyone else you may not; in the gay world there isn't really dating. There are "date" apps used as a fairy-go-round so you can instantly access penis and have it at your door faster than Domino's. It works well for the most part for a quick romp, other than those people who use Photoshop on themselves or photos from the '80's.

Generally an invitation for coffee via app gets no attention but I was feeling crazy. Plus, I'm still trying to understand why my friends are constantly subjecting themselves to other people. We meet and the guy clearly hadn't taken a recent picture in thirty pounds. Now top that with the silence he radiated and you have me as a non-stop chatter box, mainly talking to myself. Here's where it should have ended as it wasn't much different than the conversations I have with myself all day long.

After twenty minutes I called it quits and He finally decides to talk. Wanting to know what I'll be doing after he gets off work. Since he's a waiter and works nights, generally that time of the evening calls for sexy business. However, there's no way I'm letting that crawl on top of me. I flat out say no and give an honest answer - I don't want to hang out. Again, the message seemed clear from my end, but apparently I was speaking a foreign language that only I know.

By the time I went to bed I had received seventeen text messages. The next day another twelve and the following day a record twenty-two messages from Texty. If someone doesn't reply to 98% of your messages do you keep sending them? The answer is no. If someone doesn't respond you are risking things by sending a second and third message. Message four verges on crazy town and everything after number ten means I need to enter the dating protection program.

I've learned my summer lesson and will be sure to keep to myself. Apps are for sexy fun and nothing more!