Trial by Stupidity

I've dated and "dated" my fair share of individuals. What I've learned is that there are several types of guys, but in they end they all come from the same mold. Stick with me on this - I have a point.

The Lover: This is the guy that wants to give you the world. He's sweet and attentive. It's even cute for about three minutes. By the time my coffee cup is empty it's getting old. They want to love, hug and suck the life out of you by interjecting into every crevasse that is you. What ultimately will turn into an ugly break up can result in snow balls being thrown at windows. Trust me on this one.

The Liar: Not the, "I love you," lie. This is the guy that seems to be on the up and up but is actually banging a bunch of bar skanks behind your back. The only thing good here is the bedroom time, but keep in mind this gentleman has served more people than an In and Out burger.

The Game Player: This one is a personal favorite. You never really know what's going on because they seem like they're a good guy, but are unavailable or always disconnected in some way. You'll easily be turned into the crazy person that can't stop sending texts and leaving voicemails. This one is dangerous not only to your mental health but also your reputation. The Game Player always knows everyone and when you're done there's at least six months of running into people that "know" you.

The Open Guy: He loves and wants to be with you. The only thing is he needs to be getting his rocks off with a few other people each week. But he loves you because you're waiting at home. Are you kidding me?


Now we come to my point. Men are creatures of habit, and that habit just so happens to be hanging between their legs. So, with the passing of the gay marriage bill in New York I'm asking why? Never have a I met a gay man that wasn't below average in the attractive area that wanted to truly commit to another person. In fact, I can compile a list of those that claimed to be in a committed relationship and then cheated or left all together.

This marriage thing had a place in society... in the distant past, but really has no place in modern society. The only people who need to get married are the gold diggers that refuse to get off theirs asses and work for a living. To further prove my point I am counting the days until the first gay couple in New York gets divorced. They will effectively prove my point that no marriage can last and that investing time in such an endeavor was a waste of their time and my tax dollars.

Bar Money

Today was an interesting day. I finished an article that I had been asked to write for another blog. After proofing the piece and feeling a sense of accomplishment it suddenly seemed odd that I was being asked to write a piece for a national technology blog. When did I become a technology expert? This has been plaguing my mind as the sixth anniversary of my first book passed me by this week. I'm a fiction writer with a psychotic work ethic that has derailed personal goals in order to build a company that's not mine.

This will not do. Corporate America is not for me... except for the paychecks they offer. That piece is definitely for me. In an effort to reconnect with the person other people somehow remember me being, I've made an effort to act as such. Last Thursday I went out with friends to a drag show. Friday was filled with beer and bar hopping. Saturday was a walk around the city followed by a visit to the bar. After all that - I'm tired! Damn I feel old. How is it that anyone can go out more than once a week and still function the next day? It's not just 21 year old kids running around either, there are 45 year old men living this way. Could it be their gay gene is stronger than mine? Well, obviously. I'm on the lesbian side of that debate. But really, how are they keeping it up as they pass from bar to bar to bedroom to bar?

When Sunday rolled around and it was time for 'Broadway Bares' it was all I could do to bitch and moan. Literally, I spent the entire day bitching that I had to stay up until two! The show was definitely fun, and I got my fill of boob for the year, but that time on a Sunday is murder. That corporate part of my brain kept telling me: Work. Work. Work! It was all I could do to not back out and stay home to get ready for Monday. The newly formed republican personality that has been living in my head is so difficult when it comes to fun.

No matter how tired I am it is my goal to not allow this transition to continue. The fun must return and the boring straight personality that has taken over needs to be pushed back into the black box where it belongs. Maybe it's time to date someone so there's someone new to argue over things.