Sunday, May 8, 2011

Relationship Intolerance

Beginning in the sixth grade (it may be younger now) we are told to practice safe sex. Then the adults tell you that sex is only meant to happen between married couples. Where does that leave people like me? There's no marriage in sight and for the time being it's illegal and not something I have to worry about avoiding. On the other hand, I have a relationship intolerance that makes it impossible to stay with someone - less they succumb to the pressure of a pillow pressed against their face.

So, as a perma-single, I and many others have a little predicament. Either we give in and get on the relationship wagon, or we allow society to classify us as sluts and whores. Well bring on the labels because there's no surrender happening here! Not that this is such a new revelation but over the last several months I have been reevaluating my views on sex and dating. One is always sucking me into the other. This led to disasters such as the Devil, Dollar and many other less than desirable candidates.

As a gay in today's society we know that sex comes before the relationship. The smart thing to do is establish rules, mostly because I love them, around the sex in order to prevent any relationship from forming. The first thing is to never bring the fling home. No matter what, anything that happens must occur at their place, unless you're really crazy and want to get it on outside. Living in the city it's not as easy to do this considering most of us don't drive cars. The second is making a quick escape as soon as everything has come to a climactic end. This is then followed by absolutely nothing. Other than a few random texts for personal entertainment purposes there are no repeat visits.

There's just one other detail you may be left wondering about - love. Where does it fit into this equation? It doesn't. In fact, if that's you're interest I can't relate to you and probably have damaged you by sharing what I have. If you're in it for love I suggest you buy some country albums and curl up in front of Netflix each night to shuffle through the drama category.

Love is for the optimistic. Sex isn't just for the relationship oriented. Last but not least, whores and sluts do have more fun - they just need better titles. The Bible really ruined that one for everyone.