When we're young there are certain things people say you will out grow. Not wanting to eat vegetables. Not enjoying exercise. Not wanting to date. Some of these things I have grown out of, while going in the opposite direction on other items.
Being single has always been fine with me. In fact, I've made something of a mission out of it. At 18, people said I would grow out of it someday. They again told me this at 20, 22 and 24. Now I stand at the threshold of 25 and everyone seems to have changed their perspective. I'm being condemned and commended for my dating ways. On one hand, friends tell me they wish that they could be like me. On the other, people tell me that I better do something to change before it's too late.
Love for me is a four letter word that applies to things like coffee and puppies. This is not something that properly fits on another human being. I do have a relationship of sorts with Shew, and I hear from everyone around me that I need to keep him away before I make a mess. Shew knows that I want to be single and I know that he wants a relationship. That means we both know the risks of being around each other. However, all I really want is someone to talk to. It's nice having someone there at the end of the day so you can complain about work, bitch about transit and just get things out of your head and into the world. What I don't need is someone to hug, kiss or touch me. This is the thing I have not grown out of.
I am 25. I am single. This is more or less a summary of each birthday that comes and goes. Each year I'm a little more stubborn and a little less patient. Each year my ways are more deeply ingrained than they were before and I become a little more difficult. Now I'm wondering where to go from here. If a person does not want to follow the rules of society and settle down what are the options? I'm currently married to my job, but who knows how long I can run myself ragged. Is work the only alternative to marriage?
For now I am happy with the way things are, not that there's much that can be done. However, I do wonder if I will ever grow out of my abnormal dating ways. I doubt it. I think the Animator and I are going to be sitting at the bar in 30 years getting drinks and hitting on the 25 year old kids of the day.
